I am your sweetest revenge.

You know what? Minsan gusto kong isipin na hindi naman talaga love yung naramdaman mo for me. Humanga ka lang talaga nung umpisa.Ang dame ng nagbago ngayon. Sana di lang ako nakapansin non. *Sana ikaw din* Kasi ngayon i’m really trying to be okay when in fact i am not. :( Mas okay yata nung wala pang commitment eh. I know that love isn’t all about being happy and not arguing with each other. Anyone can make you happy, when you love someone, that person sometimes gets you on your very last nerve, makes you mad and says the most stupid things to get you agitated, but at the end of the day, you stay with them because you love them. And at the end of the day that’s all that really matters. Yan ang lagi kong iniisip bago ako matapos ang araw ko, before ako matulog. Yung selos? Dinisregard ko na nga e. Selosa ako pero nilulugar ko nalang. Iniignore ko nalang lahat ng bagay kasi nga what matters for me is you and just because i love you :( Yung feeling na parang wala ka ng pakealam sakin. Sakit nun e. :( Basahin mo yung usapan naten nung nag uumpisa pa lang tayo at ikumpara mo sa ngayon. Nakakapanlumo eh. :(

My whole life has been full up fuck ups and failures. & then something happened. I found something amazing. Something only very few lucky people find. The kind of thing that makes all the bad shit okay. It doesn’t matter what’s going on because you have that very special thing. I didn’t understand how I came over such thing. Somehow someone thought I deserved to feel this. This amazing feeling. So I decided to give it my all. & I did. I gave everything. There was nothing I wouldn’t do. This love changed me. I hated the person I use to be. This made me into someone new. So you make plans. And you make promises. And you let your walls down. And you give up everything. Just for this one person. And then that moment when you see it slipping. And you do everything you can to try to hold on to it. And I’d cry myself to sleep at night. And I’d stare at my phone for hours. And I’d torture myself with horrible thoughts about you. You with someone else. You missing someone else. And it’s funny how things can fall apart with in just 30 minutes. When you realize he doesn’t love you back. How he doesn’t care. And I want to die. And I want to never feel again. And how just now I made a promise to myself to never ever ever let anyone in again. Never let someone get this close. I feel worthless. I feel unwanted. I feel like it’s dangerous for me to be alone right now. Call me dramatic but I am at my lowest low right now. Right now i’m thinking na hanggang salita na lang ung “I LOVE YOU” from you e . :( Namimiss ko lang siguro talaga lahat lalo na nung nag uumpisa pa lang tayo. Ang laki talaga ng pinagbago e. Sa ngayon nag iipon nalang ako ng lakas ng loob para itanong sayo kung “Mahal mo ba talaga ko? ” .. Wala pa kasi ako nun ngayon kasi natatakot ako sa pwedeng maging sagot. Di pa ko ready pero i know in time i will be.

So much for the drama. Anyway, miss na kita. :(